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SUPPORT THE ‘STACHE

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This just in:

YANKEES URGE FANS TO VOTE JASON GIAMBI FOR FINAL ALL-STAR SPOT; ANNOUNCE “SUPPORT THE ‘STACHE” INITIATIVE

**The American Mustache Institute officially backs Giambi as their candidate**

The New York Yankees are urging fans to “Support the ‘Stache” and vote for first baseman Jason Giambi on Major League Baseball’s Final All-Star Ballot.

Fans can cast their votes for Giambi online, or by texting ‘A2’ to 36197 (or 88555 for those Yankees fans in Canada). Voting ends at 5:00 p.m. on Thursday, July 10. Yankee fans are urged to vote early and often. By voting online, fans will be entered to win one of five authentic Jason Giambi autographed prizes.

The American Mustache Institute officially offered their support for Giambi’s All-Star candidacy today.

“It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that Jason Giambi’s hitting prowess plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star,” said Aaron Perlut, Executive Director of The American Mustache Institute. “Giambi’s significant first-half production as well as his powerful lip fur – indicating great intellect and good looks – make two very compelling reasons for his place on the American League All-Star roster.”

Giambi is batting .256 (63-for-246) with 13 doubles, 18 home runs, 53RBI and 44BB in 78 games this season, leading the team in walks, tying for tops in homers and ranking second in RBI. He is currently tied for fifth in the American League in home runs, ranks seventh with a .393 on-base percentage and ninth with a .537 slugging percentage. In addition, Giambi leads the AL, averaging one home run every 13.7 at-bats and ranks second with 1RBI per 4.6 at-bats.

Jason Giambi: Role Model

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Let me begin by saying that I’m not one of those people who think athletes have an obligation to serve as role models of morality for the kids who worship them. That’s one of the reasons usually named in the litany against athletes whose behavior deviates in any way from the straight-and-narrow. I see no reason why someone who can swing a bat from here to Kingdom Come has to live up to fans’ ideals of righteous living; those who demand such a thing, in my opinion, have a lot of chutzpah. It just so happens, though, that Jason Giambi, simply by living through his own trials and tribulations, has unwittingly become a role model–or at least a good case against steroid use.


Giambi is one of the few baseball players to admit having taken steroids. Since he’s been honest about it, we can believe it when he says he’s stopped taking them. The irony is, Giambi was sick as a dog when he was on drugs, and his performance suffered dismally. Last season and the year before he had some wretched physical ailments, and he looked like a zombie. Now that he’s stopped taking drugs and has begun the healing process, he’s playing better, at the age of 37, than he has in years. Not exactly a walking ad for steroid use.

Then there’s the matter of the golden thong: without so much as a blush, Giambi recently admitted to wearing a gold lamé thong whenever he’s struggling out of a slump. Not only that–he’s shared his thong with other Yankees, who swear the thing works. I realize that some people might not think this is great role model behavior–but kudos to Giambi for being without shame about a minor touch of kink. Between that, the bristly moustache and a few lost pounds, Giambi’s exuding sensuality, a sure sign of robust health. Put simply–the guy is HOT .

Yankee manager Joe Girardi points to Giambi’s health as the main reason he’s been grand-slamming and tearing up the field lately. “He’s been healthy, he’s been strong, he’s running well, he’s been playing good defense,” Girardi said. “It’s good to see guys come back when they’ve had some injury-plagued seasons — to come back, rebound and do the things that you’re used to seeing them do.”

So here’s to you, Jason Giambi: You went down the dark path and came back a better player, possibly a better person. You did it for yourself, not for anyone else–but don’t think it’s gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

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