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Letterman Does Yankees

A few Dave Letterman jokes about you-know-who, taken from the MLB site:

Long season, brutal season, 162 games, 40 or 50 playoff games, and then the best of 30 in the World Series. Finally, now, they get a well-deserved rest, and then on Monday they report to Spring Training.

The Yankees, your world champion Yankees, they have to make a big decision in the offseason — are they going to keep Kate Hudson or sign Drew Barrymore?”A-Rod and KateH

Letterman described the span from 2004-06 when {Andy} Pettitte interrupted his Yankees career to play with the Astros by saying he left for three years to go run a Dairy Queen or something.”

Jeter, Pettite and Posada were on the show, and at the end, Letterman brought out World Series Most Valuable Player Hideki Matsui, who carried with him the World Series trophy.

Matsui greatThat, of course, is because Matsui doesn’t speak enough English to fully participate.This allows me another opportunity to point out what’s rapidly becoming one of my pet peeves about the way Major League Baseball operates: I think every non-English speaking player should, from the moment they arrive, be given vigorous English lessons by a private tutor. It’s ridiculous that Matsui couldn’t talk on the Letterman show. It’s a deprivation to the fans that we had to hear his speech, upon being named MVP, from an interpreter (who knows what he’s saying?–only half kidding).

Lest this sound like an English-only conservative rant, I’m also in favor of all non-Spanish speaking members of the League, from owners to players all the way down to the ball dudes, learning Spanish. It would enrich their lives–and perhaps even ours– immeasurably.

To end on a humorous note, though, here’s another Letterman zinger:

Mariano in suit“I’m going to be hosting for eight commercials, and then we bring in Mariano Rivera.”

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