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Jon and Kate Revisited

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From a comment on my previous post about the Gosselins:

I’ve been following the strange developments since things went bad last year… Kate has apparently expressed regret at the way she treated Jon, and Jon shows small signs of coming out of his midlife crises. Could there be reconciliation this year? Any possibility they could they get back together for the kids’ sake? What do you think? I’d love to read a follow-up post from you. After all, a LOT has happened since you wrote this one.

I hate to be a celebrity gossip, but what can I do if my readers are clamoring for a follow-up? Gotta keep them happy, you know.

As I said at the time, I never thought there’d be a reconciliation once Jon began his immature antics. For awhile Kate wanted to see a marriage counselor, but Jon wouldn’t agree to it. That, to me, was the final nail in the coffin. It also put me firmly on Kate’s “side.” (My real side, though, is the kids’ side.) She recognized the enormous affect their breakup would have on the children, while Jon’s attitude was almost blasé. Thus, despite some of the whacky things Kate’s done and said in the wake of their split, I don’t fault her for the ensuing events—which, I must admit, I soon stopped following. I’m really not a celebrity gossip or follower; I only got sucked into this particular drama because I was so madly in love with the sextuplets.

This week, though, I caught up: I watched Dancing With the Stars, a show that, along with American Idol, I have assiduously avoided. I was curious to see the Dancing Kate. What a disaster! It was the night of her wretched, over-the-top Paparazzi Kill number. I don’t think I have ever seen a worse dancer or dance number.

Anyhow, the latest news is that Jon, that loathsome snake, is filing for custody of the kids, on the grounds that Kate is an “absentee mother.” He faults her for going out dancing, (the whore!) instead of staying home with the kids. Before I go any further, allow me a moment to take a few deep breaths…..nothing, but nothing enrages me more than a vengeful ex-husband trashing his ex-wife’s mothering. You know they don’t really want the kids; they want revenge. They also, incidentally, want to stop paying child support; even though it’ll cost them more to raise the kids themselves, it just galls them to hand money over to their ex.

Absentee mother! Gimme a break! Like most dads suing for custody, Jon will go as low as he has to, with wild exaggerations and distortions of truth.  I love what Kate’s lawyer, Mark Momjian, said: that Jon’s attempt to gain custody is “pathetic,” and that his motives are transparent: “He’s out of the limelight, while 23 million people are watching Kate on Dancing with the Stars.” He points out that Kate is the family breadwinner, then when she goes out to earn a living he slams her with accusations of neglect.

This is not the first time a woman has been caught in the impossible double bind society puts on mothers regarding work : you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.  It’s precisely because Kate’s issues are universal that I’ll continue to defend her.

Besides, Kate might be a godawful dancer, but she’s a wonderful mother, from what I saw on their show.  She is also a woman who’s managed to hang on to her own identity even under the crush of six babies all arriving at once–a feat that is to be applauded.  She’s starting a new show this summer, Twist of Kate, on TLC (word play potential for Twisted is so obvious, guys, don’t even bother). She’ll be interacting on the show with women who’ve written to her for advice. Let’s just hope dancing won’t be happening.

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